The Devil and the Luther Burger

I like ice cream, with cashews...lots of cashews. I can eat ice cream and pizza, ice cream and hot dogs, Ice cream and any type of sandwich. And don't forget ice cream and lasagna. I guess you get the point.

.

My other love is cheeseburgers... with ice cream. And this is off the subject, but patty melts are a thing of beauty. Anyway, what I wanted to post about and which you might have read about is the mutated doughnut burger known by various names as the Luther burger and The Big Kahuna Doughnut Burger and Krispy Kreme Delux among other names. This travesty of meat contains, at a minimum 1500 calories! Something a true burgerologist would not even consider in his daily quaffing of burgers.

Now the hamburger may not be perfect, but with the proper accoutrements, it does come close to being the perfect combination of meat, vegetables and dairy served up in a most satisfying manner that pleases the palet and makes the taste buds sing.

The KKD (krispy Kreme Delux), however is something else entirely. It is evil. It's a cheeseburger possessed by demons. It's a cheeseburger in need of an exorcism, who's main objective in it's existence is to control your humanity. The people who created this monstrosity have only one goal in mind. To make you fat. To make you lethargic. To make you want more Luther burgers and before you know it, there'll be fast food chains of these abominations across the country, populated with obese people who can't think for themselves, whose only desire will be to work and make more money to buy more Luther burgers.

Stick with the original cheeseburger. Don't go over to the darkside. If you don't want to do this for your country, then do it for yourselves. All the wars, all the trade imbalances, all the jobs being shipped over seas would end in a matter of months if we exported only Luther burgers. This insideous blend of doughnut and meat would totally make our competitors on the world stage lackluster, fat, and impotent. In other words, a non threat. Something to think about.

The Best Cheeseburger You Will Ever Eat

The cheeseburger is an American staple. How you like your cheeseburger or what appeals to your personal taste is an entirely different subject.

For now, let's go with the most popular. Bear in mind that this does not include grilled burgers. That's a different animal. Let's stick with the good old fashioned burger.

What does it take to make an exceptional burger? In one word: fat. The higher the fat content, the more flavor you get, the better the burger. Simple. I tend to stick with an 80/20 beef content. Call me middle of the road. Plus it's easier to work with.

OK. Best burgers I have had? McDonalds quarter pounder. Very good.  Depends on where you buy it though.
Surprisely the flavor changes, depending on where you buy it.  Her in AZ, they aren't very good. They ARE NOT the same as in Ca. Why is that?  Isn't beef, beef? Wouldn't you think so?

Jack in the Box used to make an Ultimate Cheeseburger that had a most unusual taste. One humoungus patty with all the extras. Now they give you a double cheeseburger and pass it off as the Ultimate Cheeseburger. The keyword here is "cheeseburger", not "cheeseburgers". Sorry, it's not the same.

MY favorite is IN & Out. Although I simply love sliders. White Castles to be specific. But that's another post. There used to be a burger franchise called Black and White. They made burgers similar to In & Out. I don't know if they survived or not. Does anybody have any information on this?

Again. What does it take to make an exceptional burger? Here's a list.

A. Fat content.
B. Dressing.

Damn, that was a short list. It all depends on where you put the extras and condiments. For some reason (I'm not an expert) you'll pick up the flavor of the catsup first, then the onions and then the meat and somewhere along the chewing process, you'll get the mustard. Lettuce and tomatoes is an afterthought. You know you just ate something crunchy, but you can't identify it. That's why In & Out put the onions on the bottom.  It has something to do with the taste buds. And to be honest. Can you really taste American cheese? It's there, but it's not there.

Let's get down to business.

To make a great, mouth watering burger here is what you need.

1. Hamburger. Preferable an 80/20 mixture. That's 80% meat and 20% fat. Less if you can deal with it. I am poor and can't afford to have the butcher grind up prime beef for me, so I stick with 80/20.

2. Buns. Not the cheap 99 cent ones. They don't absorb moistures very well. Check this out. Pick up a package of cheap buns, now pick up a package of the more expensive buns. Feel the difference in the weight? Spend the extra dollar.

3. Onions. For those of you who love onions. Here's a trick I learned.
   Cut the onion as usual in slices. Now salt them. Yep. Put a little salt on the   onions and leave them alone. The salt releases the juices  in the onions and   intensifies it.
4. Cheese.  Strictly your choice. Whatever you like. Everything else you put on    the burger is up to you and your tastes.

The Cooking Process

Cast Iron Skillet. Conducts heat really good.
High Heat. For the cast iron skillet
Try this out. Take a paper towel, dip it in grease or cooking oil and rub the bottom of the skillet with it. Just a very thin coating. It helps to prevent sticking of the meat or you could use  cooking spray.

The Patty

Squash it and shape it. Take into account shrinkage, but it should be thin. Put it in the skillet and cover it. You can also freeze it awhile. The water and steam will make a softer burger. It will cook for maybe 2 minutes on one side and 2 to 3 min. on the other at high heat.
When you see the grease forming with a little red in it... turn it over and let it cook for about a minute more. Cover it up again. We are trying to keep the steam in. The Secret.

Now put your onions in with the burger. Let them cook for a minute or two. Then put them on top of the burger. Now put the bottom bun of your hamburger bun on top of the onions which are on top of the burger. Leave the top off and  let cook for maybe 30 sec.

Carefully flip the whole thing over,  take out and and apply your favorite cheese and whatever flavors you prefer. Now take the top bun that you forgot about and put it into the skillet and let it brown a bit.  Place it on your cheeseburger , add assorted  add ons and press down a bit. You are good to go.

You can also put it in the microwave for 12 seconds. No more. McD's calls this Quing? Notice I didn't add any salt or pepper. That's because the salted onions provided all the seasoning I needed.  However, you can experiment with your favorite seasonings.

Next up.

Hamburger Dressings. The soul of a good cheeseburger.